Teacher, You Are More Than Your Usefulness — Summer Is Where You Remember That

 You Are More Than Your Usefulness — Summer Is Where You Remember That. 

Four weeks. And this is where June lands. 

We named the crash. We named leisure sickness. We named the Calling Trap — the internal voice that tells you caring a lot means sacrificing a lot. And we named the outside version of that same trap — the make summer count pressure that comes for your guilt. 

And underneath all of it has been one truth we have been building toward all month. 

Teacher, you are more than your usefulness. 

This week on Teaching Without Losing Yourself — The Podcast we are talking about Identity Erosion. The quiet thing that happens when a teacher has given so much to the role for so long that the person inside the role starts to disappear. It does not feel like a crisis. It feels like being committed. Being responsible. Being the kind of teacher you set out to be. That is what makes it so hard to see. 

But summer is the season where that starts to shift. Where the role quiets down enough for you to remember who you are outside of it. And this week we are going to talk about what that actually looks like — and what it costs when summer passes and the person inside the role never gets to show up. 

Joy on your own terms means you get to decide what counts. This is week four. Come sit with us. 💚 

 📦 The Teacher Box: https://afterthebells.org/pages/box 

 📖 The Blog Post: https://afterthebells.org/blogs/the-doors-behind-the-bells 

We’re not here to fix.
We’re here to notice. 

If this helped, pass it to another teacher who might need it. 

Until next time… 

give yourself the same care you give everyone else.

 ~Kim 🌿 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Okay, teacher. So I went for a walk. My husband and I are trying to be healthier and walk a couple of miles each morning. But this wasn't, you know, just a walk where I would normally, you know, wear my my headphones and listen to podcasts or where I'm really kind of planning content or thinking through any kind of a problem. It was just a walk. And somewhere about 10 minutes in, I caught myself thinking, I should probably be doing something with this time. And guys, I recognized it immediately. I mean, school just ended a few weeks ago, so I knew what was happening. Uh, so it's not because I'm still in the in the building, uh, not because I have a class to prepare for or roster to review, um, but because I spent 28 years in this system that, and it's taught me that, you know, being still or stillness is something you earn. And that voice doesn't disappear overnight just because you walk away from a role, I guess. I caught it and I said to myself, there it is again, the calling trap. It's still whispering and it's still showing up, even on a walk that belonged to nobody but me, guys. And I kept walking. Does that sound familiar to you? Have you done something this summer, something small, something ordinary, something that's just for you, and immediately felt the pull to justify it. The walk should have been, you know, a workout, getting healthier, want to lose 20 more pounds. The quiet morning should have been uh productive, more productive. The afternoon you spent doing nothing should be spent doing something. Does that sound familiar? Teachers, I want to ask you something today. When is the last time you did something just because you wanted to? Not because it made you a better teacher, not because it fit into some sort of plan, not because you earned it, but just because you wanted to. Guys, that's what we're talking about today. I want you to stay with me on this one, okay? Welcome back to Teaching Without Losing Yourself, the podcast. I'm Kim. After 28 years in education, I realized I could not get teachers what they needed within the system. So I decided to support teachers from outside the system instead. That's why this podcast exists. And this is After the Bells Beyond the Box, a moment made just for teachers, even on the moon. Everything we talk about here is built around this simple bully. Teachers, you can stay in teaching without losing yourself in the process. Our goal is to always help you see what is getting in the way of that so you can see things differently, clearly, more clearly than you did yesterday. Teachers, welcome to week four of June. We have covered a lot of ground together this month. A lot of names known, a lot of information gathered. So, week one, we named the crash, or what we talked about a lot in social media, the real word, leisure sickness. That's the thing that happens when your body finally gets the message that it is allowed to let go and it let go of all of it all at once. And thousands of you told me you were living in this in real time right at this moment. Week two, we name the calling trap. The calling trap is the belief that teachers who care a lot should sacrifice a lot. It's the internal voice that follows you to your couch, to your favorite beach, to your slow mornings. The one that whispers you should be doing something, like I just talked about a moment ago. Week three, we name the outside version of that same calling trap. So we have an internal version and we have an outside or external version. The make the summer count pressure that comes at you from social media, from the education industry as a whole, from the comparison that makes you perfectly or your perfectly good summer feel like it is not enough. I'm comparing myself to other teachers who are lesson planning and doing all the things. So I'm not doing enough. That's an outside version or external calling trap. And now we are here, guys, week four. This is where the month lands, not with a strategy, not with a challenge, with a truth that has been underneath all of it from the very beginning. So, teachers, I want to tell you something and I want you to say it back to yourself, okay? Teachers, you are more than your usefulness. Say that with me. I am more than my usefulness. Teachers, this happens quietly, so slowly that most teachers never notice it until they're standing in the middle of a summer with nowhere to be and no idea who they are outside of the classroom. When you spend 10 months pouring everything you have into a role, into students, into parents, into a building, into a system, the role starts to take up more and more space. And the person inside the role starts to take up less and less. And guys, it happens so super quietly. Your interests that you've had, they get pushed to the bottom of the list. The things that used to bring you joy get replaced with things the job needs. Your identity starts to look more and more like your job description. And by the time June arrives, the question of what you actually enjoy outside of teaching, outside of being useful, outside of doing something for someone else, guys, when people ask you that question, it becomes almost impossible to answer. That is what I call identity erosion. Okay? Identity erosion. It is what happens to you when your role, guys, as a teacher has been the center of everything for so long that rest without purpose feels like a waste of time. It is when you're experiencing joy, and that joy is for no one but yourself. And something inside you says, God, now that's not enough. You're experiencing your joy, and something inside of you says, That's just not enough. And summer should be the season where that starts to shift, where the role quiets down enough for you to remember who you are. And for most teachers, summer just becomes another season of being useful. Useful to the school year coming up, useful to the family waiting, useful to everyone who now has full access to you because school is out. Preparing lessons, running errands, being available, saying yes, taking care of everything in everyone the school year did not leave room for. And the person inside the role never really gets to show up. Teacher's joy on your own terms means you get to decide what counts. You, not the profession, not the system, not the make the summer count message. You all so let me explain to you what this looks like in real life, okay? Real moments for you. Let's try this one. So, teachers, let's say you've done something only for yourself this summer, and immediately felt like you had to justify doing it. Not like you had to justify anything out loud, as there wasn't anyone waiting to hear about it. Just you having a quiet thought before you can even stop it. Maybe while you were reading a book that had nothing to do with teaching and learning, or that afternoon you spent on the porch, people watching and laughing with friends. Or maybe like me, going for a walk to nowhere for no reason, instead of being productive. And then you caught yourself thinking, oh, that took up a lot of time. Was that a good use of my time? Should I have been doing something else? Hey guys, that's identity erosion at work. Your role has been the center of everything for so long that rest without purpose feels like a waste of time. Enjoy that belongs to no one but you starts to feel like it's not enough. Okay, so let's say maybe it shows up like this. Let's say someone asks you what you like to do. Oh my gosh, this happened so many times. Not as a teacher, just you, a person, a human being. What do you enjoy, teacher? What brings you joy outside of your work? And instead of responding right away, you pause. Not because the answer is complicated, because somewhere, somewhere along the way, the answer kind of got quiet. The hobbies that used to matter got pushed out by lesson plans and parent emails and everything the job needed first. And now standing in the middle of the summer with open time in front of you, you're not even sure what to do with it. Have you ever felt that? So here's why this is hard for teachers, specifically for teachers. The teaching profession does not just ask for your time and your energy. No, no, no. It asks for your identity. Y'all, this rings so true, and I hope you are identifying with it. Teaching asks for your identity. It rewards teachers who lose themselves in the work. It rewards teachers who give everything, who are available always, who wear their sacrifice like a badge of honor right there for everybody to see. And over time, teachers internalize that. They start to believe that the most important version of themselves is the version that is useful, the version that is serving someone, the version that is producing something for the classrooms. Guys, teachers start believing the most important thing about them is that they are a teacher. And the version of themselves that exists outside of that, the one with the interests and the preferences and the joy that has nothing to do with teaching. Well, that part of you starts to feel less important. Honestly, it starts to feel less real, less deserving of time and attention. Teachers, that is not who you are. That is the system. It's what the system has taught you to believe about yourself. It is the one uh most costly thing that the calling trap does. It does not just take your time and your energy. Guys, the calling trap over time, it takes your sense of self. And summer is the one season where you have enough space to start reclaiming that, not all at once, not with the plan, just one small, ordinary, very intentional moment at a time. Guys, you'll hear me use that so often. And I'm using it because everything you do is gonna be because you chose it, not because it just happened. This is gonna start with one small, ordinary, very intentional moment at a time. So, teachers, here's what it costs when summer passes, and the person inside of you, the person inside of the role never gets to show up. If she never gets to show up, guys, you go back into August, you go back as a teacher without getting, ever getting to be anything other than a teacher this summer. And the person inside the role of teacher, well, she never gets to show up. And the cycle starts again. That same depletion, that same exhaustion, the same feeling of giving from a place that never got refilled. I distinctly remember feeling this so many times in August, where I went back and it just felt like I never left. It was like the sadness and the exhaustion from May slapped me in the face as soon as I walked through the door. I just never got refilled. And the things that used to bring you joy, teachers, the ones that you pushed out slowly over the years, they stay pushed out because summer came and it went without you choosing yourself first. Teachers, you probably do not feel like someone who lost themselves in a role. That probably doesn't even resonate with you quite yet. It doesn't feel that extreme to you quite yet. It just feels like you're being responsible because you're a good teacher and you want to be prepared and you want your room ready and you want to meet with your team and you want to do all the things. And even if you're not doing those things, you want to at least think about them and plan a plan for them, guys. So it doesn't feel that extreme. It doesn't feel like anything other than being committed, it doesn't feel like anything other than being the kind of teacher you set out to be. Because that is what makes identity erosion so hard to see, because it does not look like a problem. Teachers, it just looks like who you are. And I want you to know you are more than your usefulness, and that is not just something that feels good to hear. I'm not saying that just to say, yes, I am a declaration for the day, I'm more than my usefulness. Guys, it is what makes it possible for you to keep showing up day after day. Intentional steps, intentional moves, intentional things will help you keep showing up to do the job you love day after day. So, teacher, this is what I'm gonna ask you to do this week. It's not a plan, it's not a list. I'm not gonna ask you to do a challenge, just one thing. Because remember, it's with intention. Plain ordinary things with intention that bring about the changes you asked for. So here's the one thing it's easy. Don't worry. I want you to do something this week, teachers, that belongs entirely to you. Something small, something ordinary. You don't need to have to take a weekend vacation, even though you can. Something that has nothing to do with being a teacher or being useful or earning anything. It could be a walk, it could be a meal you cooked just because you wanted to. It just brought you joy. It could be a show you watched in the middle of the afternoon. Guys, I have been finding Netflix things on Facebook every day and planning to watch one of those. It could be a phone call, you know, with a friend that has nothing to do with the school. Hopefully, someone you haven't spoken with in a while. Guys, it could be a morning where you sat outside and honestly, you didn't do anything. I've been trying to do the do that in the evenings just with my husband. Just sit outside on the back porch, not do anything. And guys, when the calling trap shows up and ask you if the thing that you're doing has any value or any worth, and I want you to know it's gonna show up. So it's when it shows up, not if it's gonna show up, and it's gonna remind you that good teachers give it all. When it shows up, I want you to say, you know what, that was worth it. Because I wanted it, and you know what? That's enough. Teacher's joy on your own terms means you decide what counts. And a slow, ordinary, unremarkable moment that brought you something good, yeah, that counts. You are more than your usefulness. Hear it again. You teacher, are more than your usefulness, more than the lesson plans you write, more than the students you reach, more than the parents you respond to and the meetings you sit through and the building you hold together, more than what you produce, more than what you fix teachers, more than what you give, you are more than a teacher. You are more than that role, and you have to remember summer is where you remember all of that. So this is where June is landing, guys. Four weeks, four things named, leisure sickness, when your body finally let go all the stuff all at once in the beginning of the summer. The calling trap, which is the internal voice that you have that's telling you that caring a lot means sacrificing a lot. And then we have a calling trap from outside, the external version, the whole make the summer count message that comes and it comes strong and hard for your guilt. It wants you to feel guilty and to do something instead. And now this the truth underneath it all, you are more than your usefulness. And teachers' joy on your own terms means you decide what counts. Teachers, July is coming, and July is a different kind of work. We're gonna talk about what it means to protect the space you have finally started to find. Because at this point, many of you are just kind of settling into the summer. So we're gonna talk about what it means to protect that space. You finally start to find because the pullback toward the school you're starting, it starts early with you and much earlier than you realize. And sometimes you don't realize until you're knee deep in it, and we're gonna be ready for that together. But for now, teachers, just rest, enjoy something small and let it be enough. As always, we are doing this slowly, one layer at a time together. Until next time, give yourself the same care you give everyone else.